Girls do not give me. What to do?.
Among the huge number of subcultures, the movement of the Incels-young men who suffer due to a lack of sex and blaming women exclusively stands out. Incels acquired their own ideology: they believe that vaginocapitalism acts in society, according to which a peculiar social treaty is dominated by people – a woman exchanges sex only for resources (material values and other benefits) and never provides it with mutual sympathy. Therefore, according to Incels, modest intellectual guys do not have access to the female body, but it is received by other, more stringent, confident men with pronounced masculine features and money.
In the culture of incomes, the fundamental moment is the appearance. It is on her that they write off their failures with girls, believing that only guys with courageous facial features and a sports figure can claim sex with women. A young man with a sluggish jaw line, loose, full or skinny, according to the incidents, has no chance. By the way, here is one of the contradictions of the philosophy of the incelhood – on the one hand, most incidents believe that women do not give sex to poor men, on the other hand, they say that girls are guided by instincts and they are attracted by the so -called “bad guys” with the appearance of a real male and asocialbehavior that is perceived by girls as a sign of masculinity.
Incels acquired their own terminology: CED – a guy with pronounced masculine facial features, the norm is not such a handsome man as a CED, but close to him, and Incel actually is a desperately unattractive young man, whose chances of virginity are zero equal to zero.
The subculture of incomes is an extremely interesting phenomenon for sexologists and psychologists who look at the problem of the lack of demand for these guys in the intimate sphere through the prism of professional interest and consider their arguments funny and insolvent.
The main reason for unattractiveness for the opposite sex is problems with self -esteem. Uncertainty is read by girls very easily, even she hides behind the bravado of arrogance and cynicism. Most girls want to see with them a strong guy who can take care of her and protect. The uncertain guy mumbled, unsuccessfully and awkwardly jokes or, on the contrary, pushes rudeness with roller coins, trying to protect the vulnerability of his inner world.
Incels object that girls sometimes give guys after a very short acquaintance, when in fact you do not have time to find out, for example, when meeting in the club. However, this only proves once again that self -confidence is very important here – if a man fell sex after half -hour communication, then the girl was able to consider signals that are characteristic only of people with high self -esteem – an open position of the body, timbre and pace of speech, freedom in choosing topicsAnd most importantly – the ability to unobtrusively offer intimacy.
Young men with large complexes just need to visit a psychologist, shifting responsibility for their unattractiveness to girls will not give positive progresses.
Non -critical assessment of their appearance
Sometimes men look at themselves in a completely different angle than girls. The guys believe that they are not given because of the unmistered line of the jaw, narrow shoulders and lack of muscle mass, and the girls see an untidy person in pants, like her grandfather, a chick beard with chips of food and sweat stains on a stale T-shirt.
In fact, the beautiful floor does not attach too much importance to Hollywood attractiveness, but will certainly appreciate the well -groomed and style of the young man.
It is not at all necessary to have a figure like Schwarzenegger, but it will be good if the silhouette is toned, and the face shines smooth skin without acne and cuts from shaving.
Enrace on women
Unsuccessful relationships with a mother some men project on all women in general. Underwording, lack of maternal affection extremely negatively affect the demand for a man in the opposite sex. Such a guy sees only negative features in women: if she laughed on a date, then he laughs at him, does not agree to go to his house for sex – a mercantile creature, divorced for dinner, there is a child from a previous marriage – a bad wife, could not savefamily, etc.D.
Such men need to turn the gaze inside themselves and see a negative program with which he communicates with all women. It is difficult to destroy them independently, but experienced psychologists have all the necessary arsenal.
Too high requests for a woman is another factor that makes a man turn into an eternal virgin. One at the age of 50 he is looking for a young beauty of model appearance, living with her mother in a hostel, the other thinks out as many details as possible in the image of her ideal girl: for example, one young man wrote on the network, which is examined exclusively to the Asian appearance of puppet appearance with a little crooked teeth. And since they are extremely rare for him in the way, he is cuckoing alone.
This behavior is provoked by low self -esteem – it’s easier for a guy to come up with an unattainable ideal than to do difficult work on himself. It is decided again by going to the psychologist and the study of internal problems.
Inability to build social contacts
Often, men who have difficulty in communicating with girls do not know how to find an approach to her and establish easy communication. A man with low self -esteem is fixated on himself – he does not have a resource that could be shared with another person. Provoking the girl to sex, he acts too rudely and in the forehead, thinking only about his goal and ignoring the needs and emotions of a woman. Such guys can be extremely annoying in personal messages, filling out their attention with sentimental SMS or opposite, aggressive and straightforward intimacy requirements.
Girls have an excellent word describing such figures – “stuffy”. He seemed to strangle the woman with his claims and excess attention. Such boys can very rarely critically evaluate themselves – it seems to them that everything is fine with them, and women are too short to appreciate the beautiful guy.
To overcome this problem, it is worth practicing in empathy – ask the girl about her life, pointing on topics that she is interested in talking, and try to listen to her to the end, without interrupting, trying to find a response to her interests.
In general, the problem of the inaccessibility of sex for men is not as simple as it seems-in 2014 a certain Elliot Roger made a mass massacre in the city of Aila-Vista (USA) due to the fact that hatred of people was in full swing inside him dueStatus virgin. Guys experiencing such difficulties should not be afraid to seek help from a psychologist – this is the best way to solve internal problems. You can, of course, try to act independently, overlapping with special literature on psychology, but it will take much more time and will not be so effective.