How to have sex correctly for the first time and after it. What is defloration.
For the first time, every person remembers sex for the rest of his life. This day is imprinted forever in the same way as other important points are stored in memory. In addition, in young people who have not yet befell the sweetness of intimacy, the expectation of the first proximity is fed at once with several feelings: curiosity, excitement, fear. Some girls think that the beginning of sexual activity will immediately bring a lot of pleasure and pleasure. But not as simple as it might seem.
Not prepared for their first sex, young virgins can be so disappointed after him that they will not soon wish them to engage. Having decided to part with virginity, each should, first of all, morally prepare itself for this serious step. For some, the first proximity is a difficult test, because it is this sexual intercourse that will become the fundamental basis for the formation of views and attitude to sex as such. So, how to have sex correctly for the first time and after it, to avoid unpleasant sensations.
What depends on the girl’s sensations during the first sex
Most likely, having sex for the first time for a girl will hurt, discomfort is possible after, but in general, success largely depends on the partner. In no case should he act aggressively, fussily, too persistently. The guy needs to be especially sensitive and attentive to the reaction and wishes of his beloved. And it is worth knowing at least a little, what a female body is, and how it works, what to expect from a girlfriend at the first contacts. Otherwise, the probability of the next intercourse will not fall soon, since the girl will take a lot of time for psycho -emotional and physical rehabilitation.
Of course, fear is the main opponent that prevents the young person from relaxing during the loss of innocence. The stronger it is clamping, the harder the guy get inside. Excessive fear can turn into such an unpleasant situation when a member stuck in the vagina – the so -called attack of vaginism, which we have already talked about.
Although men consider a large device a special advantage, it is better to lose virginity with a small or medium penis, because large dimensions will bring unnecessary pain, while a small dick will almost imperceptibly slip into the right hole and do their job.
Pain during defloration, causes
The mucous membrane of the virgin rifle is pierced with blood vessels, respectively, when it breaks it, the signals about pain are sent to the brain. If there are inflammatory processes in the vagina, discomfort at times intensifies. And only the correct actions of both young people can reduce the degree of its manifestation.
The lack of lubrication also leads to severe pain. You can never deprive a girl who has not been moisturized enough. Excitation sometimes falls due to strong fear, because natural moisture also stops. In this case, it is worth using a gel-rally.
Incorrect pose very often causes a wild piercing pain when trying to introduce a penis into the vagina. Still, for the first few sexual intercourse, it is better to trust the classic and no acrobatic sketches from porn do not repeat. We wrote about the best poses for the first sex in another article.
Pain is not the only symptom for defloration. It can be very tangible, medium, weak. Some girls do not have it at all. When rupture of the virgin rifle, blood appears. It also comes out in different quantities, while it may not be. These symptoms are often combined, and in the most unexpected combinations. For example, the pain is severe, but there is almost no blood, or vice versa.
After 5-7 days, the edges of the gap heal and scar. Subsequent acts of love are mostly painless, but only if the rules of personal hygiene are respected, that is, the girl processes the wound at least with soap and water several times a day, and the guy does not forget to wash before sex and rinses the head more carefully!
In general, in a collective unconscious, the wrecking stereotype has firmly settled, which should be a sea of blood, and the girl simply must writhe from pain in the first and subsequent times. And lovers of untouched girls reproach their partners in deception for a long time if this does not happen. Such thinking reinforces the fears of the owners of innocence, which is why sex becomes torment. Do not think stereotypically: every young woman is individual!
When and with whom you can have the first sex
Many young women are interested in the question when you can have sex? To accomplish the first time, as well as continuations of love pleasures after it, there is no perfect time or day. Age is also the concept of conditional. Of course, we are not talking about the fact that the first sexual experience should take place at 13 years old – this is unacceptable. But it is possible to determine the degree of readiness of the young lady for the beginning of sexual activity only by her desire, confidence in your partner, as well as a deep awareness of the likely consequences of this sexual connection.
It is believed that the girl was fully matured for normal sexual life closer to the age of 18-20, when the body is formed, internal cyclic processes set up for childbearing are debugged, the psyche has dareous, and the man is perceived a little differently than in the teenage period.
Deprivation of virginity is the deprivation of the body of the protective mechanism from various infections, therefore it is worth considering when and with whom to do it. Still, the first person oncoming or just a friend-not the best guides in adulthood. American scientists conducted surveys and research, during which they found that the portrait of the perfect deflorator is as follows:
- he is around 30 or a little more;
- He already has experience communicating with women, and far from one;
- knows female psychology, possible reactions;
- cares about the pleasure of a partner and only then about his own;
- He knows how to excite to penetration, has excellent skills of kuni and other caresses;
- He launches a member in the last turn.
In fact, this man should be a sexy altruist, and not a young boy, to whom the hormones beat in the head, which is why he is in a hurry to drain stress!
For the physical and psychological health of a future woman, it is better to lose virginity with a loved one, to whom there are strong emotions. An anonymous deflorator can only make worse. Not all modern men are ready to be pioneers and take such a mission on their shoulders. Yes, they value innocence, but some mythical and not related to them. But it is desirable to sleep with experienced and omnipotent. It will be a shame if the chosen candidate runs away, in fear, dropping his panties.
What is defloration
There are cases of complete and incomplete rupture of virgin rods. In the second, only her tear occurs in 1-2 places, but the obstacle still remains. More often this happens to be with a rude act, masturbation, the use of large tampons, active sports, where there is a load on the lower body, injuries of reproductive organs.
Some young people have a very elastic pool, because the first sex gap does not occur, and only its stretching is observed. Deprivation of innocence may not happen for the second time, and in the third. The guy will have to work several sexual intercourse in a row, or a too strong obstacle is removed surgically. So the lack of blood on the sheet after the first wedding night is not an indicator that the chosen one slept with someone to her husband.
To arouse a virgin, sex toys not penetrating, but overhead type are ideal. Pay attention to the clitoris vibrators, stimulating this erogenous zone and thus distracting from pain during defloration! The clitoral orgasm will prepare your chosen one for painless deprivation of innocence. Bring it several times to the climax and enter a member at the peak of orgasic contractions – this will reduce the pain, remove fear and help to consolidate the necessary associations.
Some tips on how the first time should happen
Properly executed first sexual intercourse usually causes girls to continue. If everything went smoothly, there are no unpleasant sensations, then there are no prohibitions on regular proximity. Is it possible to have sex immediately after the first time, if the girl herself insists on this? The answer is obvious. That is why it is necessary to properly prepare for such an important step.
The main components of successful sexual experience are in:
- the most trusting relationship between partners;
- the presence of mutual understanding and sympathy for each other;
- the need to discuss how the first sex will take place;
- sober assessment of the situation (alcohol intoxication for both partners is unacceptable);
- concentration and attentiveness of a more experienced man.
Thinking whether it hurts for the first time, many young ladies cannot decide. Unpleasant sensations after sexual contact are the main fear that affects the girl’s attitude to the loss of innocence. The penetration of the penis is far from always causing pain and discomfort in young ladies, for the first time having sex.
Many are sure that even after the first time you can’t have sex again. How many days should a minimum break between the acts of proximity be, only a girl can determine in its own well-being. To a greater extent, it all depends on the physiology and behavior of the young lady itself.
We advise you to just make love and follow our instinctive tips of the body, which will lead to the desired result. The desire to possess a loved one and surrender to him should exceed all fears and thoughts of pain. Do not relate to the first sexual intercourse as a planned therapeutic procedure and follow all the marks marked. Follow the desires of the body, and then the required excitement will come, in which hormones with an analgesic effect are produced!
If you want romance, you will create it. No? Then by a different scenario or without it at all. Perhaps the all -encompassing passion in a car or forest will overtake you – there is no time and massage oil there. The length of the love prelude will be what you need precisely. Someone needs “dancing with tambourines”, while others need a passionate kiss enough to get excited and trust the chosen one.
How to have sex for the first time without pain and discomfort
An important moment is the correct perception and awareness of the fact of loss of virginity. After all, the pain accompanying defloration is actually not the most unpleasant that a person sometimes has to worry. Sometimes it goes unnoticed, since in most cases the girls decide for the first sex only with a beloved and desired partner.
Blood rupture is the main cause of pain and discomfort during the first proximity, but often the partner becomes unpleasant due to her fault. Inexperienced girls are too clamped, their vaginal muscles are overstrain, and for comfortable penetration inside, maximum relaxation is necessary.
The first time, which ideally occurs in the old fashioned way after the wedding, seems to be the bride and groom, as the most delicate and passionate sexual intercourse. Having sex, lovers convey to each other the most secret, and in order not to violate the idyll of the wedding night, it is necessary to adhere to one of the two methods of penetration.
- The first implies a quick process of entering the penis in the vagina. Possible torment of the young ladies will be reduced if the man does everything decisively and confident. Care and attention to the partner should not be ignored, frictions should be slow, progressive.
- The second method is based on slow cautious actions. This approach is optimal for most innocent persons. In parallel with the process, the girl can voice her sensations, coordinating the movements of the partner.
Only in both proposed schemes many reach the extremes. No need to advance with completely lilliput steps to the cherished goal, commenting on every movement, as if reporting on the heights taken! In general, information about the mechanics of copulation will be superfluous. You need to ask about the sensations, but do not focus on the warning.
On the other hand, the approach “Prepared – jerk – pain – pays and survived” causes sparks from the eyes and causal place. Such experience also leads to vaginism often, so try to find the middle ground. You can organize slow preludes and slightly accelerated penetration or, conversely, 2-3 minutes of additional caresses, and then measured entry into the vagina. The main thing is that the partner should be less nervous. Focus on her character and behavior at the time of intercourse.
Having sex after the first time, girls, as with defloration, may have a slight release of blood. It even happens that during the process of loss of virginity, blood does not manifest itself. And although in the percentage ratio of such girls is an order of magnitude less, there is nothing terrible in this.
After the first sexual intercourse, you need to take a break: the wounds in the vagina must heal. In order not to doubt the successfulness of the first intimate experience, a young woman is recommended to visit a gynecologist. Your sexy debut took place? Congratulations! Now you are in the world of big sex!