What is asexuality?.
Asxuality means different things for different people. Asexual people practically do not experience sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is when a specific person seems sexually attractive and there is a desire to have sex with him. However, each person has his own experience asxuality, and asexuality can mean different things for different people.
Some asexual people do not experience any sexual attraction. However, this does not mean that they cannot experience other forms of attraction. In addition to sexual attraction, you can experience other.
– Romantic attraction: The desire for a romantic relationship with someone.
– Aesthetic attraction: attraction to a person on the basis of how he looks.
– Sensual or physical attraction: the desire to touch, hug or snuggle up to someone.
– Platonic attraction: desire to be friends with someone.
– Emotional attraction: The desire for emotional connection with someone.
Asexual people can experience all these forms of attraction.
Some people can experience sexual attraction only in very limited circumstances. For example, demisexual people who, according to some, belong to asexuals, experience sexual attraction only when they have a deep connection with a person. In other words, they can experience sexual attraction only to people with whom they have a deep romantic relationship.
There is a difference between libido, sexual desire and sexual attraction.
– Libido. Also known as sexual attraction, this is a desire to have sex, have sexual pleasure and sexual discharge. For some people, this looks like a desire to scratch his itching place.
– Sexual desire. This desire to have sex, whether for pleasure, personal connection, conception, or something else.
– Sexual attraction. This means that you find someone sexually attractive and want to have sex with it.
Many people who are not asexuals have a low libido, or they may not want sex. Similarly, many asexual people still have libido and may experience sexual desire. Therefore, asexual people can masturbate or have sex.
There are many reasons why an asexual person may want to have sex. For example:
– satisfy your libido;
– conceive children;
– make your partner happy;
– experience physical pleasure from sex;
– show and gain affection;
– get sensual pleasure from sex, including touch and hugs.
Of course, some asexual people have practically no sexual desire or sexual desire – and this is also normal! Repeat: asxuality means different things for different people. Asexuality can be different. There are people who rarely experience sexual attraction or experience it with very low intensity. As explains Asexual Visibleity & Education Network (Aven), such a degree of attraction is often considered as something between sexuality and asexuality.
Many people mistakenly believe that asexuality is the same as celibacy or abstinence.
Abstinence – This decision is not to have sex. This is usually a temporary solution. For example, someone can decide to refrain from sex to wedding, or refrain from sex in the difficult period of their life.
Celibacy – This decision to refrain from sex and, possibly, from marriage. This can be for religious, cultural or personal reasons. This is often a lifelong obligation.
Abstinence and celibacy is a choice, but asxuality – no.
Moreover, asexual people may not refrain from sex at all. As mentioned earlier, some asexual people have sex.
Many people believe that with asexual people “Is there something wrong". It is familiar to many to believe that everyone has sexual attraction, so asexual people should worry that something is wrong with them. But everything is so.
Asexuality is not a medical problem. This is not what needs to be corrected.
We will clarify. Being asexual is not the same as to experience:
– fear of proximity;
– loss of libido;
– sexual suppression;
– sexual disgust;
– Sexual dysfunction.
Any person can develop one or more of these states, regardless of his sexual orientation.
As in the case of homosexuality or bisexuality, Asexuality does not have "causes". Just A person as he is. Asexuality is not genetic, the result of an injury or anything else.
AND This has nothing to do with the inability to find a partner. It is often assumed that asexual people will feel sexual attraction when they meet "Correct" Man is not true. Many asexual people wish a romantic relationship – and many asexual people are in a happy, healthy romantic relationship.
Sexual attraction and desire is not the same as a romantic attraction and desire. The desire to have sex with someone is different from the desire to have a romantic relationship with him. It is also important to remember that sexual attraction is not the same as a romantic attraction. Sexual desire is also different from a romantic. The first is a desire to have sex, and the second is a desire for a romantic relationship.
Many asexual people wish romantic relationships and have them. Assexual person may not experience sexual attraction, but he may experience a romantic attraction. Assexual person may experience a romantic attraction to people of the same gender, to people of the other sex or to people of different sexes. Many asexual people want (and have) a romantic relationship. These romantic relationships can be with other asexual people or with people who are not asexual.
Asexual people can enter into sexual intimacy with their partner. As already mentioned, some asexual people have sex, since sexual desire is different from sexual attraction. In other words, you can look at someone and not feel the need to have sex with him, but you can still want to have sex.
All asexual people are different. Someone has a disgust for some sex, someone treats him carefree, and someone gets pleasure from him.
Some asexual people are not interested in romantic relationships. As asexual people practically do not experience sexual attraction, so aromancetic people practically do not experience a romantic attraction. Some (but not all) asexual people are aromantics.
Quirplatonik – This is a word that arose in asexual and aromatic communities. According to Aven, Quirplatonic relations are very close non -romantic relations. People in Quirplatonic relationships are as devoted to each other as in a romantic relationship. Anyone can have quirplatonic relations, regardless of his sexual or romantic orientation.
Some may find that their the ability to attract or desire changes over time – and this is normal. Many people feel that their identity is changeable. Once it may seem to them that they are asexuals because they do not experience sexual attraction. Weeks or months later, they may feel changes and find that they have sexual attraction more often. Similarly, someone can consider himself a heterosexual, and later feel that he is asexual.
This does not mean that they were mistaken or confused before. This also does not mean that sexual orientation is "phase" or something from which you will grow up. For some people, their ability to attract changes and changes over time. This is completely normal.
If you have sexual attraction in the past, but you no longer experience, your asexual identity is still relevant. The ability of some people to experience attraction may vary over time. The fact that the asexual person previously experienced sexual attraction does not erase his identity at the moment.
The same thing with people who no longer consider themselves asxuals. Similarly, some people can identify themselves as asexuals, and then feel that they often experience sexual attraction. This does not mean that they were never asexual or that they were mistaken, defining themselves as asexual. Just Over time, sexual orientation may change.
How to find out if you are asexual? Although there is no test that you can pass, there are questions that you can ask yourself to evaluate your desires and understand if they correspond to the general asexual characteristics.
– What does sexual attraction mean to me?
– Do I feel sexual attraction?
– How do I feel about the concept "sex"?
– Do I feel the need to be interested in sex, because they expect this from me?
– Is sex important for me?
– Do I see attractive people and do I feel the need to have sex with them?
– Do I like the attachment? Does sex affect this?
There is no "Correct" or "wrong" answer, But these questions can help you think about your sexuality and whether you can be asexual or not.
You can also read about asexuality and talk to members of the asexual community. Think about joining forums such as Aven forum.
Ultimately, you should use the identifier with which you are most comfortable. Only you can decide whether to identify yourself as asxual or not.
How you determine your sexuality, orientation or identity, depends only on you. If you decide not to use any shortcuts to describe yourself, this is also normal!